Coffee with Terri Wiley

Fifty Cups of Coffee #9: Terri Wiley
Date: February 16, 2024
Location: Fresh Pot, N. Mississippi, Portland, Oregon

How we know each other

Terri and I first met several years ago at a Feast Portland event. As Portland foodies, we had followed each other on Instagram for a while before meeting in person. Since then, it’s been so fun following each other’s life, family, work, and of course, food and wine adventures!

What Terri is doing now

Currently, Terri is the Director of Development and Marketing at the William Temple House. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and their teenage daughter.

Three questions

During these Fifty Cups of Coffee chats, I ask each person the same three questions. The reasoning behind each is as follows:

Question 1 – Social media makes it easy for other people to think that they know us, when truthfully, we all only see a small sliver of someone’s life and who they really are. This is the interviewee’s chance to share something that is important to them that, for whatever reason, other people may not know.

Question 2 – We all have fears, no matter who are are or where we are in life. This helps connect us and show we are all more alike than we are different.

Question 3 – I believe the answer to this question helps show each person’s true values, passions, and their why in life.

There are no right or wrong answers to any of these. I’m including each person’s answers in first person. Their answers have been edited from my notes for length and clarity, but these are their words.

What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?

Something I would like people to know about me is that I have a very intense creative arts and expression side of myself that doesn’t get to reveal itself in my line of work. And if you don’t know me well, you may not know that part of me.

Music, storytelling through photography, food, writing — those are creative pursuits that are not directly involved in my work, but they’ve always been part of my life. And don’t get me started about music!

I’m a music nerd to my core. I’ve won pub trivia focused on music and pop culture. My husband and I have a spreadsheet about concerts we want to go to or have tickets to – it’s a big part of why we got married. 

When I was younger, I really wanted to get into creative writing. In the 90s I wanted to be an indie film director or music video director. I spent study halls reading Billboard and Spin magazines.

One of reasons i do why I do is that I can be working toward social justice and social change, but there is also a creative element to it. How you can learn about their interest to connect to make change. It’s in there, but you have to dig harder to find it. So I feed that part of my soul mostly through hobbies and interest. 

What is your deepest fear?

Probably similar to a lot of people: losing a loved one too soon. Having regrets about not spending the time with them, trying to right a wrong, or having that window of opportunity close.

My parents divorced when I was 12, and I went a long time not talking to my mom. Even as a teen, I had awareness that that wasn’t going to sit well in the long term and made a pact to explore that when I was older. I started therapy to try to heal for myself, and I am so glad I did. My mom is still living and our relationship now is enough that she knows I love her despite things in past. Especially after becoming a parents, I want to make sure our daughter knew her grandmother.

One of the services my work does is provide low cost counseling for people. It’s something I am passionate about. I think everyone should have that opportunity and access to it, whatever they are struggling with. 

If you had unlimited funds, what would you do with your life?

I would pursue some sort of formal training around the arts. Maybe a photography class, going on an immersive cooking class in Italy, or take a playwriting class. I’d pursue some sort of certificate and further education or training around food, art, photography, music, 

I would like to go back to drum lessons, and possibly the keyboard. But drumming is what my passion is. 

The second part of my answer ties back to work and put out good into the world. I would make strategic donations of significance to some organizations that could use it. The donations would be unrestricted; I would not tell them what to do it, but I would want that organization to know me and have some sort of relationship.

I’m originally from Iowa, and sadly, this calendar year already there have been over 30 anti-LGBTQ bills introduced to the Iowa legislature. I would love to support organizations in my home state, such as One Iowa, who are fighting for the civil rights, health, and safety of LGBTQ Iowans. 

Lessons learned

It was wonderful seeing Terri in person after several years. Here are my biggest takeaways from our coffee chat:

• It’s important to make time for things you are passionate about. It’s really inspiring to see how Terri prioritizes things like music and food in her life.
• Life is too short to hold grudges with loved ones, and there are no perfect relationships. I admire Terri sharing the journey of her relationship with her mom, and that their relationship is “enough” now. I think sometimes we see other people’s relationships and think that’s how relationships “should” be, but we determine which relationships are important and at what level those relationships work for us.
• Access to counseling services is so important. I love that organizations like the William Temple House offer a sliding scale for counseling, and that there are more and more organizations that help make counseling more accessible to all.

Learn more about Terri

Learn more about the William Temple House.

Follow Terri on Instagram.

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Visit my main website: Urban Bliss Life.

Learn more about me at MarlynnSchotland.com.