Fifty Cups of Coffee #36: Nancy Zaffaro
Date: December 7, 2024
Location: Zoom
How we know each other
Nancy and I met several years ago at a media event. We’ve since run into each other several times over the years while attending various food and travel media events. Nancy has such positive energy, and it always puts a smile on my face whenever I see her!
What Nancy is doing now
Nancy is a semi-retired freelance writer and editor of Confetti Travel. She lives in Portland, Oregon and is the proud mother of two children and three grandchildren: she has a daughter in Washington with 2 kids and son at the Oregon Coast with one baby.
Three questions
During these Fifty Cups of Coffee chats, I ask each person the same three questions. The reasoning behind each is as follows:
Question 1 – Social media makes it easy for other people to think that they know us, when truthfully, we all only see a small sliver of someone’s life and who they really are. This is the interviewee’s chance to share something that is important to them that, for whatever reason, other people may not know.
Question 2 – We all have fears, no matter who are are or where we are in life. This helps connect us and show we are all more alike than we are different.
Question 3 – I believe the answer to this question helps show each person’s true values, passions, and their why in life.
There are no right or wrong answers to any of these. I’m including each person’s answers in first person. Their answers have been edited from my notes for length and clarity, but these are their words.
What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?
“I think I’m an open book with friends. I don’t know how to filter; if you ask me a question I’ll just answer it.”
“I do want people to know that I have a hearing impairment. I’ve worn hearing aids since I was 28. And it’s at the severe-to-profound level, not just a little bit and not just old age hearing loss. So communication is a struggle for me. I have to work at it. It’s one of those invisible things that people don’t really realize, especially as our population ages. I wish people could understand a little more.”
“Even in healthcare settings, with the people who are supposed to have had training for this, I will say many times ‘I have a hearing loss, it would be helpful if you looked at me. I read lips.’ Yet they still turn away when talking to me. It’s just something I wish there was more awareness of.”
“The good side of this, is that because I have to work to listen, I really listen, and I look. I’m paying attention to facial expressions — what I know about the person already, what I think they are really trying to convey. What people have to say is important, and because of my hearing loss, it can make me focus better and take in the whole picture. There’s a good and bad to everything, right?”
What is your deepest fear?
“First off, I think a lot of us are feeling a lot of anxiety right now about the direction this country is taking. I think we’re just really all living with the unknowns and all we can do is be gentle with ourselves and others.”
“But like with everybody else, I worry about my kids and now about my grandkids. I want them safe, I want them healthy, and I know I’ve been very lucky health-wise. As I’m getting older, I’m starting to think about how I don’t want to be a burden on my kids. I’ve never been sick, so am I going to be one of those horrendous patients nobody wants to be around? But mostly, as I’m getting older I’ve gotten better at the whole fear thing: I can take it out, examine it, and then put it down and set it aside. Because that’s life and we just have to accept it.”
If you had unlimited funds, what would you do with your life?
“This one is fun! I’d have a glass of wine with girlfriends and go on all kinds of adventures. I would probably start by helping my kids out so they could live a nice basic middle class existence without having to worry about basic things like housing. What a gift that would be. I would love that.”
“I think that I would also do a lot of nice things for myself. Like, I hate to drive, and if I won lottery, I would hire a driver. It would be like Driving Miss Nancy. I could look out the window, read my book… that would be fun.”
“Another fun idea… I have had a taste of renovating commercial buildings and my own house project, so what would be a kick is to buy a big urban building and renovate it into condos. There’d be separate spaces for family and friends to do what they will. It would be a place to gather people, or to help people out.”
“And of course, I would also want to do good things with money. I’d put the money toward helping food insecurity, housing insecurity, and help women be able to get out of abusive situations. I’d help foster kids who age out of system; there’s very little support for them so I would want to work and help out in those situations.”
Lessons Learned
I relished my chat with Nancy and here are some of the biggest takeaways from our conversation:
- Pay attention and be kind. So many people are facing hidden challenges, like Nancy’s hearing loss. And it’s important that when someone like Nancy speaks up and mentions it, that we pay attention, make an effort to respect those challenges, and respond with kindness.
- Love the phase of life you are in. Nancy and I talked about the magic that comes with the stage she is in – being semi-retired, and having grandchildren. As someone who is transitioning into my 50s and getting ready for my youngest to fly out of the nest and go to college, I appreciate the message of what’s to come.
- Little acts of kindness go a long way. Outside of the three questions, Nancy shared with me a story of how one stranger helped her while she was traveling. She was in a new city and couldn’t find where she parked her car. One man stopped and helped her search for her car for about half an hour until they found it. How many of us would have stopped to help? And she’ll remember that kindness forever. Small acts, small moments of paying attention and being there for another human being, can make a world of difference in someone else’s day or even life.
Thanks so much for taking the time to chat, Nancy!
Learn more about Nancy
You can follow Nancy’s adventures on her website, Confetti Travel.
You can also follow her on Instagram.
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Learn more about me at MarlynnSchotland.com.
