Coffee #45 with Michelle Ryan

Fifty Cups of Coffee #45: Michelle Ryan
Date: December 27, 2024
Location: Zoom

How we know each other

Michelle and I met through our friend, Amy, shortly after we moved back to Portland. We’ve attended each other’s weddings and been in the same circle of friends, seeing each other when we can throughout the years.

What Michelle is doing now

Michelle lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband Dean, and their dogs. Currently she works as a Legal Aid attorney and also owns Balanced Professional, her wellness business that includes speaking, consulting, teaching movement and mindfulness.

Three questions

During these Fifty Cups of Coffee chats, I ask each person the same three questions. The reasoning behind each is as follows:

Question 1 – Social media makes it easy for other people to think that they know us, when truthfully, we all only see a small sliver of someone’s life and who they really are. This is the interviewee’s chance to share something that is important to them that, for whatever reason, other people may not know.

Question 2 – We all have fears, no matter who are are or where we are in life. This helps connect us and show we are all more alike than we are different.

Question 3 – I believe the answer to this question helps show each person’s true values, passions, and their why in life.

There are no right or wrong answers to any of these. I’m including each person’s answers in first person. Their answers have been edited from my notes for length and clarity, but these are their words.

What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?

“One thing I wish people knew more about me is why I continue to practice law and have this business, the Balanced Professional. It’s not just that I’m an overachiever by nature, it’s also that I’ve seen the impact of dementia with some of my elderly family members and physical health issues. My grandfather died at 64. Also, I’ve also seen five legal colleagues take their own lives and many others die from health issues that they neglected. So it drives my commitment to trying to promote wellbeing practices so that, for the lawyers, they stay in the law longer and do the amazing job that they do. And for all of us, so that we can be with our family, friends, and loved ones. Because it’s sad. I attended yet another funeral this year, a memorial service, for a younger attorney I had mentored. She took her own life this year, and it’s sad.”

What is your deepest fear?

“It’s losing my physical and cognitive ability so that I wouldn’t be able to connect with others and move. One of my grandmothers was 89 years old, cleaning out her own gutters a couple months before she died. I’d like to be more like that physically, but also emotionally more connected with others. But for my family, I noticed we all went on that trip to the UK, and I know this is typical of that generation of kids: they’re so addicted to their devices. But it means that even when we’re in the same place at the same time, we’re not spending meaningful time together because everyone’s connected to their device. The TV is always on, and it saddens me because we only have so many years together. And for me, my family’s on the other side of the country, so we really only have so much time together.”

“Similarly, in the community there’s a growing sense of indifference, globally. Even among friends who are liberals, especially with inequality issues. People think we’ve come so far and I’m like, no, we have a lot further to go… which is why one of the reasons I switched jobs this past year was to work on helping to prevent homelessness. Last year, in less than six months, I represented over 30 clients to stay in housing or to find better housing. And that made me feel better. But also we were addressing some of the systemic issues that were going on so that they can have dignity. Some people think that just because you’re living in low income housing, you don’t have the right to have clean air. And that saddens me deeply.”

If you had unlimited funds, what would you do with your life?

“Besides paying off everybody’s mortgages and whatnot in my communities and ensuring housing for everyone, I would run retreats and events that help people have more connection to one another and their own wellbeing: cultural, environmental, physical, emotional, all the areas. Basically, it comes down to mindset, mindfulness, movement. Unlimited money is not going to fix all the problems in the world. Having the skills to navigate the problems in the world and move past them is what I think will help people move forward and evolve in a way.”

“And also, because I love to travel, I would travel more, and I’d figure out a way to travel with the dogs. Not quite as easy for international… I don’t think I would do that to them. But I want to travel internationally more than I’ve been able to do with my old job so that I can connect with old friends from my middle school years when I was abroad. They’re all over the world. Some of my yoga people are all over the world. I would like to go see all those folks and get these trips in. So unlimited money for me, would be traveling, helping people be more resilient and live a quality of life versus a longevity of life. And part of that is for my clients, especially both former public defender clients and legal aid clients, is having stable housing that is affordable for them and safe. And if you have stable housing, that helps everything else.”

Lessons Learned

Here are a few takeaways from our conversation:

  • I’m so proud of my friends. Michelle is one of a handful of close friends who is doing the work to help combat homelessness in Portland. A lot of people talk about it. I make lunches and care kits a few times a year, but nothing like what some of my friends, like Michelle and Megan, are doing to truly make a difference. They’re the quiet heroes of our great state, and I’m proud to know them.
  • Connectedness is changing. Part of Michelle’s answer to the second question made me think about how communication among humans has evolved throughout the centuries and especially in our lifetime. The world is very different now, and our communication styles and methods are simply evolving along with our way of life. I’m curious to see how our connectivity to each other and to the earth is affected by those evolutions in the coming decades.
  • Traveling with dogs is tricky. I have actually been researching traveling internationally with large breed dogs for a while, since Alain and I are eventually either going to live overseas or spend a good chunk of the year abroad. There are more options now than before, but they are almost all extremely expensive, and the inexpensive options are not ideal. It shouldn’t be this difficult or expensive. Someone with unlimited funds should create a more affordable and accessible airline that specializes on cross-country and international flights for large pets and their owners, than the current ones that exist.

Learn more about Michelle

You can learn more about Michelle’s business by visiting her Balanced Professional website.

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