Fifty Cups of Coffee #43: Kelly Morris
Date: December 20, 2024
Location: Zoom
How we know each other
Kelly and I went to Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts together! We are Sigma Pi Theta sorority sisters, and she moved to Portland, Oregon (my hometown) after college.
What Kelly is doing now
Kelly lives in Portland, Oregon and works as a freelance video editor. There’s a small group of us Emerson alumni who live in the Portland area and we try to get together whenever we can.
Three questions
During these Fifty Cups of Coffee chats, I ask each person the same three questions. The reasoning behind each is as follows:
Question 1 – Social media makes it easy for other people to think that they know us, when truthfully, we all only see a small sliver of someone’s life and who they really are. This is the interviewee’s chance to share something that is important to them that, for whatever reason, other people may not know.
Question 2 – We all have fears, no matter who are are or where we are in life. This helps connect us and show we are all more alike than we are different.
Question 3 – I believe the answer to this question helps show each person’s true values, passions, and their why in life.
There are no right or wrong answers to any of these. I’m including each person’s answers in first person. Their answers have been edited from my notes for length and clarity, but these are their words.
What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?
“I wish more people knew that I had ADHD and how it has affected every aspect of my life. I was diagnosed in fourth grade before they really even knew what they called it. ADD was more or less in girls and ADHD in boys, because there wasn’t an understanding at the time that in girls, it’s more likely that there’s brain chatter, not the physical activity. So forever my mind has been distracted or gone down rabbit holes in lectures, and I would completely zone out.”
“So the racing thoughts and my attention when I’m having talks, if I see something that takes me in one path, I’ll keep going down it. It takes a lot of mental focus to stay on point, and I don’t think people gather that necessarily. I try so hard to be a good listener. It’s a practice that I’ve worked at my whole life, and when it’s called a disorder from fourth grade, I felt like there was something wrong. And now I know with neurodivergencies, it’s not something wrong. We’re all on a spectrum to one degree or another. And just understanding how we fit in, and for me to understand my place and accept that I’ve learned all these coping mechanisms to deal with it, it’s phenomenal. The fact that I found film and video editing more or less in high school, it gave me a direction and a puzzle to solve my whole life. It gave me a passion and a purpose, and I could work within my brain chatter to make sense of these little pieces of film and distill them into a story.”
“So the coping mechanisms, having a to-do list, things that I can see my progress as I go. If I didn’t have a to-do list, I would be lost, legit, and Google Calendar, all those things that help. And also physical activity, being able to get outside, get my energy out that way. And music, going to concerts and letting myself zone out of the brain chatter. I think that’s why music has always been my drug.”
“There are lots of things that come with that. So as an adult now, and practicing compassion, empathy, presence and understanding with myself and everyone else, I’ve found ways to make it work to my favor and to understand it. I think talking more about it (ADHD) and removing stigmas from it, autism, and other pieces that are on the scale that we’re all still learning about and seeing – even giving labels to ourselves and what we are – I am pleased and proud of the evolution of understanding of neurodivergencies.”
What is your deepest fear?
“When I have a fear, I don’t want it to have power over me, though it’s human to have fears and human to acknowledge that there’s something scary. My favorite quote from – and I think the movie was horrible – but from the Phantom Menace, Yoda said, ‘Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.‘ And I think that’s brilliance. And that has stayed with me my whole life too.”
“Fears take hold of us, and they can have power over us for the rest of our lives because we give them that power. I was thinking about this in terms of the opposite of fear, and I think it’s love, right? And the opposite of anger is happiness, and the opposite of suffering is joy and life. So there are lots of things to be aware of in our swinging pendulum of light and darkness right now. And it struck me that it’s 1% that is changing this light and darkness and the pendulum. We’re so close to these being equal in society. But when darkness takes over, I think we got to just keep meeting it with love. So love is my answer to fear, and I try to just find the way to meet any fear with empathy or compassion or light, if I can find it. You know what? A little tiny bit of light can light up the darkest room. If there’s just a little tiny crack, that is the way to light. And that seems more powerful than darkness.”
If you had unlimited funds, what would you do with your life?
“I can’t help but get political on this too, because I mean, money has so much power in our society, and the people with the money are the ones who can hobnob to make the biggest difference. So the people with the money seem to be able to make the decisions; the people with the money have the power. And if money was unlimited, I see people like Mackenzie Scott. I have so much admiration for that human as they are truly making a difference and helping people who are helping people.”
“Of course, I would take care of my family. Of course, I would take care of the people closest to me. I’ve never been able to give anyone anything. It’s a big deal for me to pay for dinner. And I mean, if no one had to worry about money, the creativity and the calm and the anxiety – I see it as a renaissance. If money wasn’t the thing that was driving our society, people would be free to do what they want to do, to have and take care of each other, to not be possessive and greedy.”
“I don’t want it just to be me. I think that’s a burden. I want all of us to not have to worry about money and the downfalls of money and the US society that’s based on being able to succeed and play the game. Whatever that game looks like. Whether it’s working at a job that is the highest paid game and the privilege that comes with being able to get the job that has the highest pay. There’s just not a lot of justice in money. And there’s arguing about where the money goes, when it is talking about money being shared or taking it away from the people who deserve it the most. Or not deserve, but need it, and who could benefit from it the most… My role model with that would be Mackenzie Scott and how I would love to spread it around and help lift up people who need it the most.”
“And I do think some of those people are my family, and I think some of them are probably your family and our neighbor’s family and everyone. We all know people who would benefit from being able to have a better education, being able to see the world, being able to travel and get a perspective rather than being stuck in one place, never seeing the ocean. Everyone deserves the opportunity to see what else is out there so that they can then become more enriched as people and humans and everyone deserves to learn everything they want.”
Lessons Learned
I always love the chance to catch up with Kelly one on one! Here are a few takeaways from our conversation:
- We all process information differently. I appreciate Kelly sharing about her ADHD diagnosis, and how she processes information. Truth be told, her descriptions of brain chatter and what she does to manage it also describe me to a T, so I can relate to a lot of what she shared in her first answer. But the underlying message I hope others glean from it is to always consider that the person you are talking with, meeting, or seeing may process information differently than you do. And to give each person grace and space. If we could all respect and even celebrate our differences in these regards, I think the world would be a much more compassionate, peaceful place.
- Fear is the path to the dark side. I love Yoda, and I love this quote, so I am so happy that Kelly shared it! I feel like it’s especially true these days in the US. And I fully agree with Kelly: meet fear with love. It’s the only way to let the light in.
- Mackenzie Scott is all of our billionaire goals. Kelly isn’t the first person in these 50 Cups of Coffee interviews to bring up Mackenzie Scott. And why can’t more billionaires do the same?
Thanks so much for taking the time to chat, Kelly!
Learn more about Kelly
Learn more about Kelly by visiting her video editing website.
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