Fifty Cups of Coffee #11: Barbara Kleinke
Date: March 1, 2024
Location: Ava Roasteria, 15135 SW Barrows #137, Beaverton, Oregon
How we know each other
Barbara is one of my dearest friends whom I cherish with all my heart. She and I first met when our oldest kids were in elementary school together. Our kids became good friends, and my husband Alain and I loved hanging out with Barbara and her husband Matt, so we all became good friends. They also live one street over from us. We absolutely adore all of the Kleinkes!
What Barbara is doing now
Barbara currently works in Sales Operations in Hillsboro, Oregon, and lives in Tigard, Oregon with her husband. They have two daughters, ages 20 and 18.
Three questions
During these Fifty Cups of Coffee chats, I ask each person the same three questions. The reasoning behind each is as follows:
Question 1 – Social media makes it easy for other people to think that they know us, when truthfully, we all only see a small sliver of someone’s life and who they really are. This is the interviewee’s chance to share something that is important to them that, for whatever reason, other people may not know.
Question 2 – We all have fears, no matter who are are or where we are in life. This helps connect us and show we are all more alike than we are different.
Question 3 – I believe the answer to this question helps show each person’s true values, passions, and their why in life.
There are no right or wrong answers to any of these. I’m including each person’s answers in first person. Their answers have been edited from my notes for length and clarity, but these are their words.
What is one thing you wish more people knew about you?
“I have people that I don’t tell about my older daughter (who is trans). Mainly because of their viewpoints; mostly I didn’t feel comfortable telling old coworkers. My new job has a culture that embraces diversity and it’s part of the reason I love where I work. At my old company, there were very conservative views, so I didn’t say anything. Part of what I like about new job I get to say ‘I have two daughters.’ “
What is your deepest fear?
“I don’t want to have Alzheimers, like my dad. I watched how well my stepmom took care of him. She’s amazing, but I saw what it took from her life to take care of him. Watching my dad cry about things that he thought were real but were not real. That pain… how can you explain to them? I don’t want my kids and family to have to go through that.”
If you had unlimited funds, what would you do with your life?
“The funny thing is I don’t need a different house – not necessarily bigger. But I would love to have a chef who could cook me healthy meals that taste amazing. And I want a masseuse on-call. Plus, I want to be able to have the means to help those that need it. There are so many things – so many dreams of things – I’d like to do. Like being able to help fight cancer. Being able to come up for a vaccine for Lyme disease. And I’d like a few more dogs.”
Lessons Learned
It’s always great to see and catch up with Barbara. Here are a few of my biggest takeaways from our coffee chat.
- The world is cruel but it’s the good that makes the world go ’round. Barbara is one of a handful of my dear friends who is the proud and protective mother of a trans young adult. It makes me so angry, furious – as I know it makes Barbara too – to know that there are people who wouldn’t appreciate and accept her daughter for who she is. I’ve known her oldest daughter since she was about 8 or 9 years old, and she’s an incredible, amazing human being. I would like to believe that there are so many more people in this world that would support her for who she is. As much hate and bias as there is in this world, I have to believe that goodness, kindness, and acceptance will always prevail in the end. It has to. We have to make sure it does.
- Workplace culture is vitally important to one’s overall health. I’m so glad that Barbara works in a place now that fosters a more positive, more accepting environment. Nobody should ever have to hide who they or the ones they love are. When you work in an environment in which you feel safe and supported, it makes all the difference.
- There is always room in one’s life for more dogs. Barbara has two sweet Bernese Mountain Dogs whom our Lab Retriever, Ace, loves to play with. Dogs are the best. Unlimited funds = more dogs. I agree!
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